December 13, 2019

Thursday, December 12, 2019

I had this dream around seven this morning, after waking up at 5:30 and having difficulty falling back asleep. This was a rare Jessica dream I’ve remembered since she died.

I was looking down at the street from the window of our home—not the h...

February 26, 2019

It has been so so long since I’ve had the energy or interest or ability to even think of writing anything longer than a Facebook post that it must mean something about my recovering brain that I’m actually writing on this blog. . . 

It’s coming up to my two-year cancerv...

September 15, 2018

This is weird, but my first Taxol (IV chemo) treatment spurred me to go write another fucking poem. . .  Go figure.

Heat Lightning 

Practical Taxol will grin you a pin

Pine needles off the forest floor to flood your intimate unfoldings

A swarm of ants rushing your pants

And...

April 30, 2018

It's been a really long time since I've posted. Since January, I think. Since then I had my first "progression"-- the meds I was on stopped working, and the cancer spread to my lumbar spine, pelvis, and tailbone. When the oncologist told us, she seemed devastated; she...

January 6, 2018

The turning of the calendar brings with it a cascade of lists from the previous year: best movies; worst dressed; shocking moments. And, who died. The New York Times Magazine always showcases “The Lives they Lived,” a collection of essays and photographs of important o...

December 7, 2017

This is the paper I gave at ASTR a few weeks ago. . . Thought those of you who don't spend time and $ at academic conferences might enjoy reading it.

Sexy Beasts: Incarnating Disabled Desire

I’ll start out by saying this isn’t the paper I thought it was going to be when...

October 18, 2017

I keep finding myself writing some version of this post in my head, so I’m going to try and put down some thoughts on (virtual) paper. I know no one asked, so rather than posting some long thing to Facebook I’m making this a blog post, even though it’s not about cancer...

September 27, 2017

When you’re diagnosed with a terminal illness, they tell you to “make memories.” The memories aren’t for you—as far as I know, dead people don’t need memories—but for your kids, so they’ll remember you after you’re gone.

So one friend offers air-miles; another offers a...

June 14, 2017

I recently read a fantastic graphic novel about a young woman's experience of having Metastatic Breast Cancer (weird, right?). It's called In Between Days, by Teva Harrison, a Toronto-based artist and writer. The cover looks like this:

I was amazed at how open Harrison...

May 19, 2017

A terminal diagnosis turns you into a part-ghost. The spectre of your absence shadows you like a bad private investigator-- it's always visible and not especially discrete. Walk in a room and the ghost part of you reminds everyone of their own mortality, and god knows...

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December 13, 2019

February 26, 2019

September 15, 2018

April 30, 2018

January 6, 2018

December 7, 2017

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